It has been one of the lowest times in my life lately.  I realized a very sad truth.  The hardest part was to accept it.  Facing it was equally difficult.  But I’m left with no choice…

I was asking why in my front they seem to be smiling.  But behind me, they were so eager to axe me down.

They weren’t part of my circle of friends, actually.  Never in my entire life that I became personally attached to them.

It was hard to believe how they could do such things against me.  I even asked myself if ever I personally inflicted pain on them.  But no matter how I think hard and long, everything boils down to a big NONE.

After careful thoughts and deliberation, I realized that things and people are sometimes way beyond my control.  I can’t make all people like me no matter how friendly and thoughtful I am.  In fact, even if I am generous enough towards other people they still dislike me.  I wondered why.  Until I stumbled upon this idea, that they really didn’t like me helping them or giving them anything.  Why?  It must have eaten their pride and ego…things that I unintentionally stole from them…

I was super kind to others.  To those who needed my support, I gave it to them, all out.  But without me knowing it they hated it too.  Instead of returning the favor in a good way, they hurt me in return.  Why? That’s something I really can’t answer…I thought hard and long…But no answer came…except for one thing…It should no longer eat much of my time.

Worst was this group of people composed of individuals who were never attached to me…not in any way that I can think of.  But I really wondered why they hate me so much.  They dislike me a lot.  But because I can no longer fathom the source and the degree of their dislike towards me, why should I bother myself about them?  I just hope that one day, they will realize that I was never a part of their world.

It’s so hard to accept how people can affect one’s life so much just because they create their own drama of insecurity.  Envy, insecurity, and the likes are never curable by an external force.

Until now I’m not sure why most people whom I consider my friends hate me or dislike me.  What I’m certain is, I never gave them any reason to hate me.  And for that, I’ll just have to live life a new…with new set of friends…new set of things in life…everything NEW.