This week appears like the worst among the worst week I’ve ever had.  In addition to a pile of work, I had to deal with people who are overly sensitive, paranoid, and to make things worst, I had to be in bad terms with the very people whom I respected a lot 😦

It all started with a training.  In order to get the right person I had to apply ladderized manner in training – from the easiest to the toughest.  Along the way, I was feeling frustrated and disappointed because despite of clear instructions and honest/sincere help I received lots of negative feedback.  From being irritable, to feeling heavy over a trainee, to treating a newbie as a veteran, etc.

These feedback came to me as a surprise.  Simply because they were all WRONG and the complete opposite of what was true from my end.

I found myself explaining over and over and over again to people whom I’m not suppose to give any explanation.  I had to explain myself before my superiors.  Unfortunately, they were not hearing me.  With all the explanation I made it feels frustrating that each day one petty thing evolved into a serious issue.

I’ve always adhered to the saying, “Don’t judge others so you won’t be judged.”  But damn those people who can’t follow the same simple rule on me!

I’m not angry.  I’m hurt.  Because the very people whom I thought would be on my side, didn’t lend me their ears. I was misunderstood.  I was misjudged.

As of this time, I’m confused.  Am I suppose to hold on to something or to people who never even cared to know the real me?  Do I have to cling on to what’s right and continue explaining myself to each and every person whom I have to deal with?  What am I here for?  How can I tell them to put a STOP into thinking negative things about me?

I’ve given them my all.  I almost sacrificed everything that I have beyond what money can buy.  With or without appreciation/acknowledgment I worked on every responsibility that was assigned to me with all my heart and with all my best.  The last thing that I needed was to be misjudged!

To you: Training means accepting each and every test as a challenge.  As a trainee, you’re not suppose to be paranoid and overly sensitive regarding things.  Trabaho lang ‘to, walang personalan.  It’s either you deal with it or you leave!  Know where you stand because I perfectly know where I stand.

To you: I am sad that after all these years I thought you knew me.  After what happened, do you think it’s still right to tell me that I have your trust?

To you: I’m sorry…

As I continue with my life, it might be hard to forget what I’ve been through.  But just like a hard training, this sad story can never destroy my spirit.  In addition, I pray that someday, everything will become clear inside and out to all persons concerned.